Sexual Liberation vs Hoe

It becomes painfully more and more obvious everyday that people do not understand the definition of “hoe”. At one point this demeaning negative term at least held some value; today it is used as a catch all to describe, usually women, that have questionable sexual behaviors. Recall when Spike Lee’s: She’s Gotta Have It aired on Netflix last year and Twitter think pieces popped up everywhere. Women took to the social media channels to defend Nola Darling while men called her the popular three letter word. And to be fair, there we many occasions where men defended and women name called. Let’s clear this up: Nola Darling was a Sexually Liberated (and quite frankly, a life liberalist) woman.

We define a hoe as such:

Hoe (noun); any male or female who uses sex for any purpose other than for one’s personal satisfaction. Ex: Keith is out here smashing as many women as possible just for clout. He’s a hoe.

Context matters so much in this conversation mostly because people tend to misconstrue the amount of partners as the sole reason to call someone a hoe. Take for example, Erykah Badu. This soulful musician has three children all by different fathers. But when Erykah mentions her previous lovers she connects her experience to her emotions and justifies why each relationship had true meaning. This is sexual liberation.

In We are Going to Need More Wine by Gabrielle Union, Gabrielle has a chapter named “ Sex Miseducation” where she gave advice to a young women:

“Look you can’t take your pu**y with you, use it. Enjoy it. Fu*k, Fu*k, Fu*k until you run out of di*ks. Travel to other countries and have sex. Explore the full range of everything and feel zero shame. Don’t let society narrow scope about what they think you should do with your vagina determine what you should do with your vagina”

We must’ve seen this page out of her book a million times with the caption in some form referring to Gabrielle as a hoe. Why? Because she told women to explore the wonders of sex, life and liberation?  The message Gabrielle was attempting to share is simple: Don’t limit yourself.

Still confused? Consider the following traits as deciding factors:

Character traits of a Sexually Liberated person:

  • Is not bounded by societal norms of sex
  • Respects self
  • Respects others decisions
  • Often relies on love or general chemistry to led into sex

Character traits of a “Hoe”:

  • Tries to hide their partners
  • Has sex for things (money, clout, cars, etc.)
  • Doesn’t take the others feelings into consideration
  • Is not honest regarding activities (For example, denying previous partners)

It’s extremely divisive to use the wrong terms to classify others because, usually, these terms  are coupled with judgement and mistreatment. We hope you walk away from this article experiencing clarity. That you understand these two terms are not to describe one sex but is sex-neutral and that you also understand that not everyone lives their life with the same goals as you.